Between You and Me.

The gulfs are deep

They spread from shore to shore

They have a vast ocean in their middle

And our drowning will be how they settle their score

We have the keys to open the doors

We have the knowledge to get across

But our failure lies in our indisciplined core

And our constant fight with the flesh that tries to overshadow the cross


Image: Alexander Poskorkov

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The Theory of Missing

My heart ached for you yesterday

Just like it did the day before and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the . . .

All the days since you walked out the door

I’m looking out the window, hoping you’ll show up

But there’s nothing but winter’s fog and drops of cold, stinging rain

Again

It’s been mere moments since I last saw you

And just minutes since I last heard your voice

But it feels like forever and it seems like it’s been ages

I can’t figure out how this works

Do you miss me as much as I miss you?
Do you miss me more or does it hurt less for you?
Will they ever end, you know, these sudden bursts of pain?
Or will it always be this way as long as I love you?
I want to love you forever

What does not missing you feel like?

Will we ever know?

Will we ever be cursed with that misfortune of not ever knowing

How it feels to love and feel like you’re torn in two

Every time the person you love leaves the room?

Will we, assured in headstrong stupidity,

That it’s merely scent or appearance

Give in to flippancy and ignore heart palpitations?

Will be never be love-struck, simply struck dumb?

Not in principle, but in practice

Do you want to know?

What is missing?
Is it a concept they dreamed up to destroy us?
Or is it just a part of love?
Is it the thought that you’ll always want someone
To be there in tomorrow and forever more
I don’t get it
What is missing?

Well, I miss you

And no matter what it means

I’m glad I know what it feels like to miss you

myBull

I believe the hardest thing to do when starting over or afresh or anew is, INDEED, starting over or afresh or anew.

It feels like the elephant in the room, just waiting for you to walk by so it can breathe hot air down your back and make you shiver with fear that you’ll never have it as good again; that you’ll never be able to do as well again and none of it will make sense again.

NEVER AGAIN!

And it sort of just screams those words at you and expects you to sink in defeat, which you do much to the chagrin of those rooting for you and to the pleased, smug, self-satisfied smirk of your tormentor. You lost!

Or not. . .

Maybe you decide to let the hot breath drive you to find coolness, or you shiver with fear and throw off that old, damp garment and step into the heat of the light; and you let yourself try again.

You pick up the paring knife again and try to chop the onions finely again this time.

You pick the brush pen again and try the strokes again, try to make them perfect.

You pull out the dusty laptop and open the photo-editing software again.

You do what you want again.

And maybe you do not laugh in the face of your tormentor for fear that you’ll have a relapse into not doing, but you determine, quietly, that you will not be defeated again.

Ah!

The bull.

You’ve take it by the horns.

Like me. With what I’m trying to do here. Starting over. Writing again. Taking it by the horns. Charging in. Letting myself get gorged. Letting the blood flow.

Ah *sigh*

The blood.

The words.

Words.

Again.

My bull.

❤ ❤ ❤

It’s been too long

Hello world.

I’m here again; dusting cobwebs off this door, coughing at how heavy the dust is, the silence thick enough to slice through with a machete.

I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus, and I haven’t felt like a writer for so long.

Got a couple of nudges last month to try again (thank you Mofe, Deinma, Kunmi Owopetu, Randi Rogers), and I’m willing to start again.

I’ll share as much as I can about what had happened in the past 3 months without boring you, and share what’s happening now as succinctly as I can.

And of course, there will be stories to make you laugh, or cry, or think.

So.

Again.

Hello world.

Glad to see you again.

It’s good to be home.

❤ ❤ ❤